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Life has its ups and downs: sometimes nothing much happens, while at other times it is full of surprises. Today was one of those days. Earlier this afternoon I was taking a train to my home in the west of Tokyo after meeting two old friends from my university days for lunch. It is very hot and humid at the moment, it being the start of the early summer rainy season. The local train that I was on was not very busy, mostly older ladies such as myself, and young mothers with their toddlers. I wasn't surprised when a middle-aged businessman in a dark grey suit and dark sunglasses boarded the train and sat opposite me. But his presence suddenly reminded me of a day forty-five years ago, when I was a willowy and pretty 16-year-old high school student.
One early-summer's evening, back in 1965, I was returning home on the local train. I had spent a few hours at my friend's house after school, pretending to study but mostly listening to records. It was about nine-thirty pm and the train was trundling through the suburbs, which in those days, was a mixture of farmland and housing. Two stations from my hometown, a middle-aged business man got on the train. He was wearing a smart suit, dark sunglasses and had a small moustache that made him look like a chubby Charlie Chaplin. It was very rare to see anyone with sunglasses on at night and it made me feel nervous. As I sat on the train, I could sense that the man was looking at me from behind his dark glasses. I dared not look at his face, but I could feel his gaze on me. I instinctively looked down at my feet. I felt afraid, but the train was half full, so I reckoned I was safe. I waited patiently for my station and then got off. Unfortunately, the man got off behind me. However, I still felt safe as there were many other male commuters heading home after their long day at the office.
The journey on foot to my house normally took twenty minutes, and was along the road south from the station. After passing through a small area of cheap restaurants, houses and apartments, the road led across farmland to a junction. At this point, my route home took a long road that curved the right and went past some woodland to finally arrive at my house. In the daytime it was a very pleasant walk. But that night, I was feeling very anxious. Walking south, I was a part of a small group of people returning home. The man was close behind me. After a few minutes, most of the people had disappeared into their homes, leaving just myself, two elderly office workers and the man with the dark glasses. I stopped walking and pretended to look through my school bag. The man walked past me and away into the distance. I waited until I couldn't see him anyone, then contunued walking towards the junction. By the time I reached the fork in the road the other two men had gone and I was alone. I turned right at the fork. The long curved road was ahead of me. Between me and my house was an area of woodland on the right, and some farmland on the left. There were only three houses on the way. It was very dark. I couldn't see the man anywhere, but my heart was beating fast in my chest.
I continued walking. The sound
of my footsteps
seemed so loud. I stopped and listened, but I could
hear nothing but the sound of my own breathing. I peered
along the dark
curved road but could only see about 100 metres. I continued. Then
suddenly, I realised there was something moving in the trees next to
me. Before I could do anything, the man grabbed me - one hand around my
neck, one across my mouth. He was still wearing his sunglasses, and
beads
of sweat were dripping off
his nose. He smelt strongly of tobacco
and beer. 'Please, don't panic,'
he said, 'I'm not going to hurt you. I
have something to tell you.'
I was confused. What did he want? Was he going to touch me, or kill me?
'It's okay. Don't be afraid. I am not going to hurt you. I promise,' he
repeated.
His hand slowly moved off my mouth, 'Please don't scream,' he asked
quietly.
'What do you want?' I asked him, my voice trembling
in fear.
'I have something to tell you. It's something you must know.'
I said nothing.
'I am your real father,' he said.
I was shocked. I didn't know what to say. Was he telling me lies? Was
he telling the
truth? 'You are not my father,' I shouted, and bit
him hard on the back
of the hand that was still around my neck. I screamed. I screamed as
loud as I could. 'Help me! Help me!' I shouted.
In the distance, a light went on in the nearest farmhouse. the man
panicked. he let go of me and stepped backwards. I screamed again. The
man turned and ran back along the street towards the junction. Within a
couple of minutes, the farmer and his son were with me. They
knew me well. 'Emi-chan,
Are
you okay?' they asked. I told them I was
attacked,
and the son ran
along the street after the man. He didn't find him. The farmer took me
into his house and called the police. They couldn't find the man
either. He simply disappeared. I never saw him again.
The police took me home to my parents. I was in shock. I couldn't tell my mother or father what the man had said to me. Did I dream it? Was I confused? I told them I was attacked, but told them the man had said nothing. As the years went by, I sometimes used to look at my mother and father and wonder what the truth was. Did my mother have some dark secret? I used to look at my father's face and compare it with my own. Were any of his features reflected in my face? Sadly, my father died many years ago, and even after his death, although I spent a lot of time with my mother, I never did tell her what the man had said to me that night, or ask her the truth. Earlier this afternoon, as I sat on the train and saw the man wearing sunglasses, I remembered that night so long ago. Would it have been better to have known the answer? Would my life have been better? I don't know. And looking at the other people sat on the train, slowly trundling through the hot and humid suburbs, I wondered how many other people have secrets in their lives.
Adjectives
willowy:
Tall and thin with long arms and legs.
chubby:
A little fat.
Adverbs
instinctively:
Do something in a way that is natural and automatic.
Verbs
board:
To get on a bus, train, or plane.
remind:
To make someone remember something.
pretend:
To behave as if something is true, but you know that it is not true.
trundle:
To move slowly and heavily.
sense:
To believe something is true, even though you do not know for sure,
because you feel it is true.
dare
not:
To not be brave enough to do something, because it is dangerous.
reckon:
To think that something is true, or to calculate something.
lead:
(lead>led>led)
Here meaning 'to go in a particular direction'.
curve:
To bend one way, like a small part of a circle.
peer:
To look carefully at something which is difficult to see.
panic:
To lose control of yourself because you are scared or nervous.
tremble:
To shake slightly because you are scared or cold.
be
attacked:
Here meaning 'when someone tries to physically hurt you'.
be
in shock:
To be very suprised,
and so in a state in which you cannot think properly.
go
by:
When years 'go by', it means they 'pass'.
wonder:
To think about something and try to guess what is true.
be
reflected:
When something is reflected, an image of it is seen in another place.
Nouns
ups
and downs:
The mixture of good things and bad things that people have in their
lives.
a
toddler:
A young child who has just learned how to walk.
presence:
The state of being somewhere.
a
suburb:
An area of houses just outside a city, where many people live.
a
gaze:
A long and steady look at something.
a
route:
The way from one place to another place.
a
fork in a road:
A place where a road divides into two different directions.
footsteps:
The sound that feet make on a hard surface.
beads
of sweat:
Drops of sweat on someone's skin.
bite:
(bite>bit>bitten)
To use your teeth to cut something.
features:
The parts of someone's face.
Japanese words
-chan:
a suffix used after a young child's, or girl's name.