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This year I am going to keep a diary. My New Year's resolution is to write in it every day if I can.
I had a big argument with Angie. She said I need to change my attitude. She said I'm lazy and have no ambition!
It was my first day back at work after the New Year holiday and I got fired. That's something to write in this stupid diary. Great! Thank you world. What now?
I can't believe what's happening. Last night Angie dumped me. Another great event to record. He were together for three years, but now I have no girlfriend and no job. I wanna get drunk. Wait... I am already drunk!
Bored, bored, bored. Spending every day surfing the web, playing online games, chatting. Totally bored.
Still bored. No job and money is low. Nothing to say.
Nothing to say!
Not bored!!! Today I bought some new software for my computer, and a pair of 'webcam glasses'. The special glasses have personal webcams built inside them and a mini computer monitor inside. When you put on the glasses, anyone in the network can see what you are seeing. You can broadcast your whole day! Having breakfast, on the train to work, sitting on the toilet, dancing, anything and everything! Anyone who connects to the network can automatically see anyone else's view of the world. It so cool. It only went on sale today, but already there are thousands of people broadcasting. To watch someone's webcam you can type in their ID, or select from a list of people who are logged in, or just set it to 'random' and see through the eyes of a stranger.
It's my birthday. I don't feel much like celebrating though. I haven't worked for eight weeks and money is getting tight. Too tight. I spent the day in my apartment checking webcams, including my ex-girlfriend's one. I started viewing her by chance, but immediately recognized her apartment. She wasn't alone. I caught a glimpse of a guy. It has really upset me, to be honest. I should be moving on, but I can't forget her. watching her making coffee and eating toast made me realize how much I miss her.
I hardly slept last night. I
couldn't stop viewing cams. It was
crazy,
there were people in fights, people making love. It's so
addictive.
I even went out for a walk and wore my glasses. At
first I didn't have anyone checking out my cam, so I decided to do
something crazy to see what would happen. I went up to the top of my
apartment building and
stood close to the edge looking out over the city. It is a beautiful
view up there, but within seconds the mini-screen on
the inside of my glasses showed a message sent by a viewer. The message
said, 'Jump!' Within a minute the screen showed that over thirty people
were looking through my webcam, waiting to see what I was
going
to do. Then another message came: 'Do it! Kill yourself.' Then more
came: 'Jump now!', 'You can fly!'
I took off the glasses and returned to my apartment. How can people be
so terrible? I am a voyeur
myself, but how can people try to make me kill myself? I am shocked
but
I want to try it again!
I was really tired this morning, but I still logged in to see what was happening. I spent an hour watching the broadcast of a guy skiing in Canada. It was so amazing! And I realized that the network can be used for nice positive experiences as well as crazy ones. Later, I watched as a young mother played with her baby daughter. It was lovely watching them have fun, but it made me think how lonely I am. I have decided from now on I will only view the cams of people doing good things. I need to take control of my life. It's only 10pm but I'm going to bed. An early night!
I hoped to only see good things, but today I viewed something bad. Really bad. I opened the cam of a guy in Los Angeles and discovered I was viewing a gang-banger beating up another guy. The gang member was with his friends and they had cornered a young man in an alley. I checked the profile of the glasses user and realized that the gang had stolen the guy's glasses and they were broadcasting themselves attacking him. Poor guy. I Immediately called the cops and told them what was happening, but I had no idea where he was. One of the gang memebers had a knife in his hand. I turned my computer off as I couldn't bear to watch what was going to happen.
Webcams all day.
Webcams all day.
It's been difficult to write this diary recently. I have been so busy spending time online. I didn't sleep at all last night. I think I'm becoming addicted to the webcams. I want to stop, but something urges me to keep viewing. I took a look at my ex-girlfriend's cam again. This morning she seemed to be in the park with her new boyfriend. He's good-looking. Better looking than me. What's happened to my life? I am losing control.
Today, I made a decision. I deleted the software and put the glasses and software on sale on Yahoo Auctions. Immediately, someone wanted to buy them. I was bored but I know it's the right thing to do. This afternoon, I went to the store to buy some food and post the glasses and CD to the dude who wanted to buy them from me. In the street maybe thirty percent of people were wearing the webcam glasses, but I am glad that now I am not one of them. After shopping, I went to the park. It was great. I forgot how beautiful the world is. I spent a few hours sitting on a bench reading a book. I hadn't read a real book for such a long time. Then I saw Angie with her new boyfriend. They looked happy and were both broadcasting their cams. It made me so angry. I miss her so much, but I'm angry with her for leaving me.
Today, I went for another walk, and even more people are wearing the glasses. The newscaster said that around the world there has been an increase in crime and accidents since the glasses went on sale, and so the government is thinking of banning them or restricting their use.
I couldn't stop thinking about Angie, and wondering what she was doing. I walked the two miles to her apartment building, but I couldn't see anything. She lives on the second floor and the there was music coming from her room. I wanted to see what she was doing so much.
I bought a new set of glasses this morning, and the software for my computer. I want to know what Angie is doing. I'm not obsessed with her, I just want to see her life. I rushed home and installed the CD again. Angie wasn't online! I was so frustrated!! What was she doing? Where is she now? I have to see her.
She wasn't online today. I waited all morning and all afternoon for her to log in, but she didn't. She is probably with her boyfriend having fun. I hate them both. She is probably telling him that I am a loser. I hate them so much. Tonight I'm going to her apartment. I'm going to put my glasses on, and quietly climb up onto her balcony, and I'm going to broadcast my cam to the world.
Adjectives
mini:
Very small.
whole:
Complete. 100%.
random:
With no plan or aim.
tight:
Here meaning 'having not enough'.
crazy:
Here meaning 'unbelievable'.
addictive:
Unable to stop doing it.
shocked:
Very surprised. Often because of something bad.
frustrated:
Feeling unhappy and perhaps a little angry because you cannot change a
situation or get what you want.
Verbs
dump:
Here meaning 'to suddenly finish a relationship with your partner'.
surf
the web:
To look at many different web sites.
broadcast:
To send information, especially sound and images, such as television.
select:
To choose one thing from a group of things.
recognize:
To understand that you know someone or something because you have seen
it before.
upset:
Here meaning 'to make unhappy'.
move
on:
To forget the past in order to be happier in the future.
realize:
To suddenly understand a situation, or notice something for the first
time.
take
control of sth.:
To change a situation so that you have power and control.
beat
up:
To hurt someone badly, by hitting tham many times.
corner:
To make someone go to a place in which they cannot escape.
call
the cops:
To telephone the police.
cannot
bear to do sth.:
Here meaning 'to not want to do something because it makes you feel
very bad'.
urge
sb.
to do sth.:
To say things to someone because you want them to do something which
you think is a good idea.
ban:
To say that something must not be used or done.
restrict:
To say that something can only be used or done within a limit.
be
obsessed with sb./sth.:
To think about something or someone all the time.
install:
To put a piece of equipment somewhere, or a computer program, and
connect it so that it can be used.
Nouns
a
New Year's resolution:
A promise you make to yourself to change your self or your behaviour to
improve your life.
attitude:
The opinions you have, things you say, and your behaviour.
ambition:
Wanting to be successful at what you do. Or wanting to be rich.
an
online game:
A computer game that you play while connecte to the internet.
a
monitor: A
computer screen (or other screen for checking information).
an
ID:
A name or number that 'Identifies'
you.
an
ex-girlfriend:
A woman who used to be your girlfriend, but now isn't.
a
glimpse:
A sight of something that is only for a short time, so that
you cannot see the thing very well.
a
voyeur:
Someone who gets pleasure from secretly watching other people.
a
gang-banger:
An American word for someone who is a member of a street gang'.
an
alley:
A very narrow street between or behind buildings.
Yahoo
Auctions:
A web site where people buy and sell things.
a
dude:
A casual word meaning 'a man'.
a
bench:
A long seat, usually made of wood or metal.
a
newscaster:
Someone who reads the news on the radio or television.
a
loser:
Here meaning 'someone who never does well in life'.