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Feeling both nervous and
excited, I pull open the door
to the cafe. A small bell jingles
as I enter. The waiter
smiles at me, and offers me a seat near the window. 'Same as
yesterday?' he asks, 'Hot chocolate, isn't it?'.
'Yes, that's right,' I reply, returning his smile, 'You have a good
memory.'
He shouts the order to a bored-looking girl behind the counter.
She
ignores
him and continues texting
on her mobile phone. He shouts my
order again, and she puts down her phone and slowly starts making my
drink.
I have come to this same cafe
every day for the last four days. Ever since I first saw him. While he
continues working, I pretend
to read a book, but secretly
watch him.
He is tall, slim, handsome and charming - the perfect waiter. He is
friendly with all the customers and I feel slightly jealous when he
talks to a pretty office girl who comes in. After twenty minutes he
comes over to my table and asks me, 'How's
your book?'
'My book?' I ask, 'What book?'
'The one you have in your hands!' he laughs.
I can feel myself blushing.
'Oh THIS book!... it's... it's... nice,' I say stupidly.
He smiles and walks back to the counter. I feel so embarrassed.
I'm old enough to be his mother.
My husband and I have never had a good relationship. I married him, aged eighteen, to escape from my dad, who was a heavy drinker and often violent. Of course, I soon found out my husband was just the same as my dad. I had my first baby at nineteen. When I gave birth to little Jemma, I was happy, but also felt trapped. Trapped in a life with no love and no future. I felt lost. When Jemma was only six months old, I met David. David was the same age as me, and was a student at the university. He was handsome, polite, educated and so kind. I fell in love with him even though I had a husband and baby. Within three months of meeting him I became pregnant with his child, but he left me. He ran back to his rich parents and I never saw him again. Of course, I couldn't tell my husband about David and he was so happy when I told him I was pregnant. But when I gave birth to little Matt, my husband saw the baby's black hair and pale-blue eyes and he knew he wasn't the father.
My husband, Tony, forced me to have little Matt adopted. He was given to a family up in York, and I haven't seen him since. Twenty years have passed, and every day I have thought about my son, and what might have happened to him. Then last week, my company sent me here to York on business. I walked into this cafe and saw a young man with black hair and pale-blue eyes. He looks just like my boyfiend David did, twenty years ago. He even has the same way of talking. So for the past four days I have come to look at him and wonder if he is my son. But what can I say to him? Perhaps he doesn't know he was adopted. Maybe he wouldn't want to know about me. I But I have to say something. Tomorrow I will show him the photo I always carry of him as a baby, and tell him my story. Perhaps he will forgive me.
The last twelve years have passed so quickly. I am free now. Tony's heavy drinking killed him in the end. I feel sorry for him, but I'm not sad as I never loved him. I don't want to sound like a bad person, but many times I hoped for my freedom, I just couldn't divorce him. Jemma has been a wonderful daughter since his death, and we are more like friends. Last year she gave birth to her first child - a baby boy. Jemma is helping me to find a new life, a new direction. I'm lucky to have her, and my new grandson. I'm happy now, but as I sit in my local park with my grandson sleeping beside me, I wonder why I didn't go back to that cafe in York, why I didn't tell my son who I was. I wonder where he is now. Is he married with kids? I imagine him with a pretty wife and baby. The baby with thick black hair and pale blue eyes. I imagine them smiling, I imagine them all so happy, I imagine myself with them.
Adjectives
violent:
Here meaning 'doing things to hurt another person', such as
hitting them.
trapped:
In a situation that you cannot leave.
pale:
Light coloured.
Verbs
jingle:
When a small bell shakes and makes a noise.
ignore:
To behave as if you have not seen or heard somebody or something.
text:
To type a message on your phone to send to somebody.
pretend:
Here meaning 'To look as if you are soing something, but you are not
doing it'.
blush:
When the skin on your face turns red because you are embarrassed.
force
sb.
to do sth.:
To use your power to make someone do what you want.
have
a baby adopted:
To give your baby to another family for ever.
wonder:
To think about something that you do not know, and try to guess what is
happening or true.
feel
sorry for sb.:
To feel sad about someone who is in a bad situation.
imagine:
To make a picture in your mind about a situation that you do not know.
Adverbs
secretly: To
do something in way that other people cannot see.
stupidly: Without good sense or
good judgment.
Nouns
a
counter: Here meaning 'the place in a cafe where you buy
food and drinks'.